Ben & Ruth Williams (my Mom & Dad)

A GREAT ANTAGONIST.  In the book I  write a good deal about how a boy could not have had a better antagonist for a mother. That's putting it nicely. She was mean. But she feared God and I never thought she hated me. There was another side to her however, that I didn't get to know until I began looking through the pictures and letters Mom and Dad left behind. Here's just a snapshot.

HOW DID WE GET HERE? As I've tried to explain in the book, my sister Hope and I never saw Mom and Dad express any physical affection in front of us. Neither in public or in the privacy of our home did we ever see them hold hands, lock lips, or passionately embrace. Just a light platonic hug, or peck on the cheek now and then when one of them would come or go. We wondered where we came from. 

But there was documentation that somehow assured us that indeed we were possible.

There was this, but notice... no address for the wedding, and the recipient was clearly not invited to the wedding at least.  

And there was this. A honeymoon suite for $7.50 at the most exclusive hotel in Dearborn built and owned by Henry Ford.

And who keeps track of expenses on a honeymoon? 

According to my Dad's accounting, the trip cost $57.63, they drove 692 miles (spending only $7.53 on gasoline and oil), and ate only two meals. Perhaps they were distracted by the scenery.

UPON THIER RETURN. Look carefully at the expressions of my mom and dad and her mother. This was taken about two weeks after their honeymoon, just before Christmas 1945, and the Edith is still not too happy about the arrangement. (Remember, Edith wore "black" at her daughter's wedding.) There's a Christmas tree off the screen to the right. The assumption is that Hope, Ruth's sister, took the picture.

Newly weds, Ben & Ruth Williams share a secret as mother-in-law and mom, Edith, looks on. I'm the glimmer in my parent's eyes. The facial expressions are priceless...a caption contest would be in order. 

I've been trying to wrap my head around my Dad's thinking at the time. A widower for five years he was 18-years older than his young bride, then 33. The deal was that if Ruth married him, mother-in-law Edith and sister Hope came to live with him. At least that was the arrangement when I came to live with them 15-months later.

Imagine their thinking that it might be fun to have children around. Little did they realize what kind of fun their first child (me) would bring into their lives. But as their smiles hint, they were determined to find out.

That's when it all started.

I came near April Fool's day 15 months after the above smirks.

Yes, Mom and Dad truly loved and cared for each other. But nothing good is ever easy.

Eight-months into the journey.
Parents had great posture in 1947. 

Detroit Tribune Photo, 1948

 (Right B&W) Mild-mannered Sealtest Dairy Safety Director by day, mild-mannered dad by night. He was steady his whole life. 

(Below) Benj. R. Williams' Reference Passage Bible for the New Testament. Dad's KJV Bibles were frequently rebound. He used them extensively for reference in preparing his Sunday School lessons that he taught for decades at the Ferndale Free Methodist Church. 

Above are some of hand written notes in his S.S. Teacher's Quarterly. Ironically enough, during my childhood and teen years, Dad took his lessons from what was then known as the Sunday School Times, a monthly publication that provided lesson outlines based on the universal church calendar of readings, which non-Evangelical churches (like the Catholics) used to ensure an even coverage of the Bible and topics through a three-year cycle.

Christmas 1952 (Benjamin, Stanley, Ruth, & Hope Ellen)

Memorial Day 1988, when my girls were in their teens and Josh was contemplating how he was going to eventually grow taller than all of us, I persuaded them and their mother to hunt down my Dad's first wife's grave. By the look on Trudy and Josh's faces, this was a thrilling afternoon for them. I got them to do the dirty work of cleaning of decades of sod from Lucile's grave and placing flowers over the top. That Lucile's maiden name was my Dad's first name was always a romantic recollection. 

Ben & Ruth 1981 - the troubles are now
behind them and the camera.
All smiles again.

(Left) In 1981 when they came to visit us in Michigan, Dad was 87 and Mom was 69. They had been married 36 years and that smirk was still on their faces. 

(Right) Seven years later at 94 Dad was still trying to get Ruth to loosen up, but, alas... his behavior was so inappropriate, even in their own dinning room with the curtains drawn. She loved it but could not crack a smile. Less than a year later Dad passed on while taking his after-lunch nap. He had raked the leaves that morning.



(Below) After Dad died, and although she suffered from dementia and would get lost, and forget many things, I was always amazed that Mom could sight read any hymn you put in  front of her...and sing the words as she played. But she would never touch popular music, or the Mary Poppins score next to the Christian song book you see in this picture.